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Having a baby begins the same way most things do, with a Google search. We investigate the options for fertility doctors in Victoria, BC, and make an appointment.
The first thing we learn is that you never wear cologne when you go to the fertility clinic. Embryos are very sensitive and can be affected by scented products. We are told this on the phone and reminded by a sign as we enter the office.
I originally wrote a quip about how the sign in the office was redundant, because Michelle reminds me every visit. Which is true, but I could not make the joke work, because I cannot even sell it to myself. She reminds me because she knows me.
The doctor quickly rules out further surgery to reverse the vasectomy, identifying himself as a man of great wisdom, and someone I like immediately. He suggests In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) with an additional technique used to get my contribution without a scalpel. We are given pages of reading material and are sent off to get a battery of blood tests.
IVF is a complex and expensive process, with no guarantees. The blood tests help confirm that we can both live up to our end of the bargain. The consultation, and the information we walk away with, are to ensure we understand the stakes. We make our decision immediately; we are all in.
The names of professionals occupying the building are indicated by glass panels mounted outside the doors in the hallway. As we leave, Michelle points out a panel etched with the name “Butkis”, and has a little giggle. I can already envision her making fart jokes with the child we are here to conceive, and it makes me smile.
Notes about the clinic
This process of trying to get pregnant using advanced medicine I barely understand is emotional, stressful, and sometimes overwhelming. The professionals guiding us through the maze of drugs, tests, and procedures, greatly influence the emotional impact. I want to acknowledge the staff at the Victoria Fertility Centre because I cannot speak highly enough of them.
Dr. Steven Hudson, the central figure at the clinic, is exactly the guy you would hope for. You do not want to be speaking with a professional and find yourself worrying you are the smartest guy in the room, but then, feeling completely bewildered by five syllable medical terms is not the desire either. You want someone who portrays a confidence in their expertise and that communicates technical information in plain simple language. In this we are very lucky.
The staff supporting Dr. Hudson are warm, knowledgeable, and methodical. Trips to the clinic are frequent during some stages of the IVF procedure, but they are conducted quickly and efficiently. Despite multi-tasking at a frantic pace everyone makes time to be pleasant and helpful.
The most important aspect of Dr. Hudson and his staff is that they are emotionally invested in our journey. Most often they are communicating with us about appointment dates, dosage adjustments, test results, and protocols. It would be easy for all of that to become cold and clinical, but I never feel that anyone has forgotten the purpose of all this, which is to help us start a family. Everything is done with sensitivity, and a recognition of the impact this has on our life, and it makes all the difference. We are not just a file, we are The Brittons, and everyone is hoping for us.
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Many friends of Michelle and I have newborns. As we tour our old stomping grounds in Edmonton, visiting from house to house, it becomes clear that we are the victims of a conspiracy. Each baby contrives to portray its very best: smiling, giggling, interactive, and beautiful. Driving away at the end of the day, after five of these sessions, I look at my wife and say something for the first time in my life, “I want to have a baby.”