Opinion

Picasso is a fan of chocolate milk

April 28th, 2009

picasso_3musiciansI have a tendency to be a cynical asshole. I admit that. I still think this is a valid question. Why are half a million people on Facebook fans of chocolate milk?

The site suggests that I too might like to become a fan of chocolate milk. I stare blankly at the screen. I must be missing something. Perhaps there are recipes, or bikini clad girls wrestling in it, or a chocolate milk addiction support group, but there are none of those things. There are just half a million people that clicked on a button to say they like chocolate milk.

Things like this make me feel disconnected, from everything. I feel like I am missing some key human ingredient. Half a million people are in on a joke that I would not understand even if it was explained to me. It’s a lonely feeling when you can’t relate to what you see around you.

My angst may be rooted in my tendency to be a cynical asshole. Perhaps if I viewed it from a different angle it will look fun and frivolous instead of weird. So I stare at the screen like its a Picasso painting, trying to make sense of it, or see some joy in it, and failing on both counts.

Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

Kill Bottled Water

April 27th, 2009

Introduction

I don’t accost people on the street drinking bottle water, “Hey! Do you feel good about yourself? Earth killer!” I wanted to say that because the following article may sound zealous, but I am not. Drink bottled water or don’t, either is fine with me.

This is a rework of Against Recycling Plastic Bottles. I wrote it as a speech for a Toastmasters competition, which is the reason for the conversational zealous tone. I won, which is surprising. So, although the article is repetitive to those of you who come back here regularly, it’s won an award. Award winning you could call it, if you were so inclined.

Kill Bottled Water

Any biological system must find a balance or it collapses and the living things within it die. Greenhouse gases, air quality, water quality, coral reefs, rain forests, biological diversity, and species extinction, we are pushing all of these factors, and more, in a negative direction. Every living system on the planet is in decline.

Recognition that our current path cannot continue does not require extremist views. We all agree that things could improve, so, we need to make changes. I am here to convince you to make one. I want you to kill bottled water.

red_bleeding_water_bottleIt takes 3 litres of water to produce one litre of bottled water.1 The energy required is equivalent to filling up each bottle a quarter of the way with oil. Plastic bottles take 700 years to begin to break down.2 Ninety percent of the cost of bottled water is the bottle and cap.3 There are higher health and safety standards for the water that comes out of your tap. The bottled water industry has no redeeming features.

You recycle though, right. I mean, you’re not some heathen. Great, but recycling plastic bottles is a flawed concept. There is no utopia of recycling where all water bottles can be recycled and reborn as the next generation of bottles. Canadians are responsible for a billion plastic water bottles a year and one hundred percent of them are new. If you recycle a plastic bottle, it cannot be made into a new bottle.

What happens to the recycled bottles? That plastic will last for hundreds of years, but not as a bottle. The material is downgraded and must be made into other things, like the filling in jackets. When the parka is worn out guess where it goes? You have not changed the fate of the plastic bottle, just delayed it a few years. If you recycle a plastic bottle, the material still ends up as garbage.

We behave as though a recycling bin is a gluttony confessional that forgives all of our sins. I have read varying estimates about what percentage of plastic bottles are recycled. Thirty percent, twenty, it could be as low as ten percent4. My question is, who cares? If you are burning bundles of money to keep warm, the efficiency of the furnace you are using is not the point. We cannot continue to buy products that don’t make sense, and try make ourselves feel alright about it by recycling.

Bottled water does not make sense. Putting it in a blue bin does not change that. The answer is not to recycle an object. The answer is to recognize that we don’t need to make it at all. If bottled water disappeared tomorrow, the environmental benefits would be huge and the negative impact on your life would be zero.

I am not an extremist or a rabid environmentalist, and I am not asking you to be one either. You don’t need to make a picket sign or take part in a march. I am not suggesting that you give up your car. I am suggesting that you sacrifice a harmful and needless convenience. Stop buying bottled water.

Pepsi and Coke made $45 billion5 last year bottling water and other products. What impact do you think recycling has on their profits? The companies that produce the billions and billions of plastic bottles each year don’t care what happens to all that plastic. It has no impact on their revenue. You only influence large corporations when you make their environmental choices part of your buying decisions.

To affect a huge multi-billion dollar industry just stop buying their product, you won’t be alone. Bans against bottled water have been put in place in Nelson, Waterloo, Toronto, London, Charlottetown, and St. John’s. People are starting to pay attention to this issue because it is a small but winnable victory. This is not going to fix our environmental problems, but it will be a sign of change.

We should wipe out bottled water on behalf of the one in eight people on the planet that don’t have access to clean drinking water. We should stop buying it to send a message that being environmentally responsible is important. We should stop producing it to help the environment. We should stop bottled water to demonstrate our common sense.

This product results in significant environmental harm. This product does not need to exist. You don’t need bottled water. I don’t need it. No one needs it. Lets kill bottled water.

Alternatives

water

Permanent Containers

If you are using bottled water for convenience, replace it with a metal container, and fill it up with tap water. A good quality aluminum or stainless steel bottle will last indefinitely. There is no evidence to support claims that drinking out of aluminum is harmful in any way, but if you are at all concerned, get stainless steel. Outdoor activity stores like MEC usually has a good selection of styles and uses ranging from insulated to infant cups.

Filtration

Water tastes different depending on the minerals it contains which vary from place to place. If taste is your reason for drinking bottled water try a filtration option. Filtered water in a permanent container is a good alternative to bottled water. There are many different systems that vary in complexity and function. Keep in mind the potential need to dispose of and replace filters, which will offset some of the environmental benefits you are trying to achieve.

Larger Containers

If you are going to buy water in plastic containers remember that bigger is better. The larger the container the less waste you produce for the same volume of water.

References

Giving Bottles a Second Life – NY Times

Plastic Bottle Recycling Is A Dying Dream – Tree Hugger

Tap water popularity affects Pepsi – NY Times

How bottled water could drink Canada dry – Polaris Institute

Is bottled water safer than tap water? – CBC

Calculations for the cost of bottled water – Tree Hugger

Backlash against bottled water – Vancouver Sun

Sailing the Great Pacific Garbage Patch – TED

Plastic Bottle Recycling Estimates

Bottled water bans: Vancouver, Toronto, London, Charlottetown, Owen Sound, St. John’s, Long Island, NY City, San Fransisco, Seattle, United Church of Canada. If you find others feel free to add it to the comments.

Footnotes

  1. Estimates vary. I have read a reasonable looking calculation that claims the figure is closer to 6x, so 3x is conservative []
  2. The estimates for bio degradation of PET plastic varies []
  3. Considering the minimal processing required to put tap water into a bottle this is a believable figure, and one that is fun to quote, so I have used it. However, even though the figure is all over the internet, I freely admit I can’t find a good source for how it was arrived at. []
  4. See articles under the Reference heading for sources []
  5. Published financial statements for Coca-Cola Company and Pepsi Bottle Group []
Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

Against Recycling Plastic Bottles

April 16th, 2009

plastic-water-bottleI am not a rabid environmentalist. You will not find me chained to a tree, or carrying a “save the whales” sign. Recognition that our current path cannot continue does not require extremist views, it simply requires a grasp of basic high school math and biology. Any closed biological system must find a balance or it collapses and the living things within it die.

Human beings are pushing our system out of balance in a time frame unprecedented in the Earth’s history. Greenhouse gases, coral reefs, rain forests, biological diversity, air quality, water quality, species extinction, erosion, we are pushing all of these factors and more in a negative direction. Every living system on the planet is in decline. A correction in these trends is inevitable.

Recycling to the Rescue

The symbol has become pervasive. Blue boxes, bins, and bags are everywhere inviting you to recycle your unwanted mess. Doing so makes you feel like you are doing your part. The problem is that we are accomplishing nothing.

Short-term thinking is my issue with recycling. It is accomplishes two things: First, it makes us feel like we are doing something. Second, it ensures that we do not really have to deal with the fundamental issues. We do not need to fix our problems, we just need to delay the crisis until we are dead.

Bottled Water

Bottled water is a great example to illustrate my point. Bottled water is a unnecessary industry. No one needs bottled water. People over 30, like myself, can remember the birth of bottled water. If you had told us 20 years ago that we would buy water in little bottles at more than twice the price of gasoline we would have rejected the idea as ridiculous. Yet here we are.

A huge industry like that producing bottled water has an impact on the environment. Shipping, packaging, marketing, factories, and plants all burning energy to produce green house gasses, industrial water and air discharge. If bottled water disappeared tomorrow, the environmental benefits would be huge and the negative impact on your life would be zero.

Canadians drink half a billion dollars of bottled water a year. We do so for a variety of reasons: perceptions of quality and safety, and convenience being high on the list. We drink our bottled water and feel OK about it because we recycle.

That is short term thinking. We have created a temporary container out of a permanent material. That plastic bottle will last, in one form or another, for hundreds of years. That material will not be recycled and remade into a useful object for a few hundred years. Even if you put that bottle in a blue bin, the material is eventually going to end up garbage.

The process begins immediately with a fact that few people seem to know. One hundred percent of plastic beverage containers are brand new. There is no utopia of recycling where all water bottles can be recycled and then be reborn as the next generation of bottles. That circle of arrows that represents the recycling industry is a lie. If you recycle a plastic bottle, it cannot be made into a new bottle. It must be downgraded to something else, like carpets or filling in pillows.

Bottled water is just an easy whipping boy because it is so obviously harmful and devoid of any value, but it represents the bigger picture. Temporary things create our entire lifestyle. Take out containers, coffee cups, paper napkins, packaging, and IKEA furniture. The bookcase you bought from IKEA can only be moved twice before it breaks down into fragments of particle board. How many objects in your home have been made to outlast you? More than five years? Why not?

The Solution

Continuing to buy products that don’t make sense, and trying to make ourselves feel good about it by recycling, is delusional. Producing bottled water does not make sense. Putting it in a blue bin does not change that. The answer is not to recycle an object. The answer is to recognize that we don’t need to make it at all. Recycling is not the answer. Producing less is.

If our product choices really affected our lives, we would make different ones. We will refuse to support any product that produces waste. Starbucks must design a coffee cup we can bury in our flower boxes as fertilizer. McDonalds needs to package their burgers in something our dog can eat. We, of course, will buy a cup that will last our whole life and simply drink our water out of the tap.

Environmental change currently appears optional. The environmental choices we make do not directly and immediately affect our health, our standard of living, or our pocket book. The effects are slow and easy to overlook. We need to make them immediate and pronounced.

We are destroying the place we live, but we are going about it in such a half assed manner that we are fooling ourselves into thinking progress is being made. We are taking part in a massive industrial orgy of one time use convenience products. There is no point in being coy about it.

We are addicted to a way of life that will kill us. We need to hit bottom so we realize the mess we are in. The faster we get there the better, so let’s quit messing around and do it already.

Throw everything out. Lets have plastic bottles up to our necks and push things to a point where throwing out a bag of garbage costs as much as your rent. Change created by altruism is lovely, but it is painfully slow. Change due to necessity is quick and decisive. They say it is the mother of invention, so lets generate some necessity.

Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

US Financial Bailout

April 15th, 2009

greedy-bankerI went to a large music festival in Pemberton, BC this summer. Organizers were so utterly unprepared for the arrival of us, and thousands of others, that we were shuffled along like cattle into the wee hours of the morning by staff that clearly had no plan at all. Drunk, bored, and extremely pissed off, my friend and I tried to incite a riot. It is more difficult to get a good riot going than you might think.

I was reminded of that by this great story by Matt Taibbi at Rolling Stone, about the US Financial Crisis and the subsequent bailout. The lack of U.S. headlines that include the words “disemboweled” and “banker” continues to surprise me. I have to think that the tipping point can’t be that far off.

Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

I Admire

March 4th, 2009

dirkmasI wrote a list of people and what I admired about them. I did not intend to pick my family when I began, but the people that came to mind were not world leaders, sport stars, or historical figures. They were my family and friends. Everything I admire I can find in the people I know. I find that very reassuring.

I turned the notebook page I wrote the list on into a card using the image in this article, and gave it out to a few hundred people. I know my wispy scribbles are illegible, but I thought the page looked interesting. Some people, my wife included, find the fact that words are recognizable, but barely legible, to be very troubling, so for all of their sanity, the translation of the page is found below.
(more…)

Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

Costco

January 29th, 2009

I avoid Costco until my wife asks me during a moment of weakness. On my most recent trip, I delayed entering the store by buying envelopes at the Staples across the parking lot. When it could be avoided no longer, I went to the entrance, where I encountered the crack security force checking for Costco membership cards.

(more…)

Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

Use Your Words

December 17th, 2008

When my friend’s child was younger he was prone to temper tantrums and bouts of rage. When such an episode was beginning she would always say, “Use your words. You have to tell me what’s the matter. You have to explain to me why you are upset. Use your words.” I thought it was excellent advice.

My neighbor came out onto his balcony and yelled at my wife the other day. My wife and I own a duplex. We occupy the back portion and we rent out the front unit. Our back yard shares a property line with a four-story apartment complex on two sides. It was from one of these apartment balconies that the man did the yelling.

On this bright sunny day the young ladies who rent the front of our duplex had turned up their music and we could hear it while we worked in the yard. I suspect this was the source of his frustration. I’m left wondering because instead of coming down from his apartment and leaning over our shared fence to explain his concern and see if we could come up with a solution, he threw a tantrum like a petulant child and yelled meaningless nonsense about respect from twenty feet in the air.

When I heard the shouting, I came out from my secluded spot behind the trees to see what all the fuss was. As soon as he realized that he wasn’t just yelling at a 110 pound woman he retreated back into his apartment, which reveals volumes about his character.

Left standing in my yard trying to decipher the source of his angst I was forced to make some guesses. He probably could not hear the music well from that distance which I also find frustrating. That must have been the answer because after I went in, opened the windows, and turned our stereo up really loud, he never did come back out onto his balcony. I congratulated myself on diverting a tense situation with quick thinking.

Other people are not privy to your internal monologue. You already know what the problem is. The path you have taken is obvious from where you are standing. It is both unfair and unrealistic to expect the person you are trying to communicate with to catch up all at once.

Remember that you have to tell me what’s the matter. You have to explain why you are upset. Use your words.

Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

Smoking, it can’t be that good

December 10th, 2008

I saw an ad for cigarettes with a warning on it that stated the odds that smoking will kill a long-time smoker is 50%.

Holy jumping Jesus! That just can’t be right because I see people smoking all the time. Why would they do that?

The only thing I wouldn’t give up if there was a 50/50 chance it was going to kill me would be sex. “Fuck it”, I’d say, “I’ll take my chances.” Smokers don’t look like they are having orgasm level fun though, so I’m not sure I understand.

Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

Do Something

November 30th, 2008

I came upon a serious car accident recently. A car had lost control on the highway and been struck broadside by a large oncoming motorhome. The motorhome ended up 100 feet off the road leaving behind a twisted piece of metal that was once a car. Enough people had gathered so that I thought the situation was well in hand. I am glad I stopped because it was not.

(more…)

Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

Urgency Sensing Buttons

November 19th, 2008

A man hammering on the call button and pacing frantically provided me entertainment on my elevator ride today. The frequency or force with which you press a button in no way alters its behavior. The circuits, of course, do not care if you are in a hurry. They have no empathy for your situation. They are like every bureaucrats you have ever dealt with.
(more…)

Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

Sunglasses

November 12th, 2008

Bug Eyes

Fashion is arbitrary. It’s an industry based on rich men providing money to gay men, who design clothing modeled by freakishly thin women, bought by bored rich women, the profits go back to the rich men, and the cycle repeats. The jetsam from the process ends up in your local mall.

Fashion cannot be entirely groundless however. There are some fundamental truisms in the world. Ingrained in the human experience is a sense of quality and aesthetic. Otherwise, a bouquet of roses and a pile of dog feces constitutes the same experience.
(more…)

Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...

Diamond Engagement Ring

November 5th, 2008

I was recently married for the second time. The first time I was in my early twenties. I thought of an engagement ring as a given part of the process and so I bought one without a lot of consideration. The second time I proposed was more than a decade later. I had changed and considered the idea of an engagement ring a great deal.

It would be outdated and offensive in our culture to receive a dowry from the bride’s family as a condition of marriage. Why then is the exchange of expensive jewelry as a precondition an accepted practice? The basis for two people getting married should be how they feel and who they are. The attachment of a one-way monetary exchange clouded the issue and made me feel uncomfortable.

Give something to fulfill a requirement and it ceases to be a gift. It extracts the emotion and replaces it with duty and obligation, neither of which I wanted to associate with a desire to share my life.

On top of all that, I held a suspicion that the entire idea of diamonds as a precious commodity was obsolete. A little reading and research only reinforced those notions.

The industry has created a value for diamonds; they are essentially worthless shiny rocks. The association of diamond rings to a proposal of marriage is the result of a clever marketing campaign; it is a tradition created by a corporation.1 Artificial diamonds can now be created which are superior to natural stones.2 As technology improves they will almost certainly remove whatever intrinsic value the natural stones posses. Conflict diamonds continue to help finance human atrocities in various parts of the globe.3 In short, the purchase of a diamond ring is an entirely ridiculous notion.

Despite all of these things, I bought one. I did so for a few reasons:

  • All of the arguments I have presented are logical. I have learned the hard way over the years that logical arguments have no place in an emotional discussion. Wants and desires are rarely rational things.
  • I have ridiculously expensive Japanese kitchen knives. I have received thousands of dollars in camera equipment from my wife and I have bought thousands more. I have more computer equipment than I really require. My girl does not judge and criticize the things that I desire; I should provide her the same courtesy.
  • She agreed that the one-way exchange was silly and unfair. Her solution was simple and touching. She asked me what I wanted. If I wanted something, it would make her happy to get it for me. There was nothing that I wanted, but the offer pleased me.
  • Do I think it’s stupid? You bet, but it is not about me. It is about her. Withholding something that would make her happy, and I was perfectly capable of providing, simply because it caused a ruffle in my intellectual landscape, would have been a poor way to start a marriage.

When I asked my girl to marry me I gave her a diamond engagement ring. I am very happy that I did. Asking a woman to marry you is one of the best things you ever get to do as a man. Tension, anticipation, excitement, nervous butterflies, and then that look on her face that will just melt your heart. It has been more than a year now and I still catch her staring at that shiny rock on her hand. It may not make a bit of sense to me, but this is marriage, it will not be the last thing that doesn’t.

Suggestions

If you decide to buy a diamond ring I have a few suggestions for you:

  • Avoid malls and jewelry stores. The markup in these places is beyond ridiculous. If you want a stone in a simple setting a wholesaler is a good bet. Custom jewelers can produce something unique, if that is your desire, and can generally do it cheaper than retailers. If you want to go peer into jewelry cases with your girl try Costco. They have surprisingly good quality stuff, just not a lot of selection.
  • Do your research. Understand the basics of a diamond and have a solid idea of what you want before stepping foot into a store.
  • Once you have decided on a diamond make sure you get documentation that lists the details of the stone. It is a good idea to get an appraisal. You need to ensure that you have actually received what you paid for, because, really, how would you know. It is also a good idea for insurance purposes.

References

Fake Gems, Genuine Appeal – NY Times
Diamonds or Oil, Is a Cartel Forever? – NY Times
Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond? – The Atlantic
What are artificial diamonds? – Wisegeek.com
How to buy an engagement ring – Guardian UK
Diamonds on demand – Smithsonian
Blood Diamonds – Wikipedia
Vancouver based diamond wholesaler

Footnotes

  1. DeBeers began a large campaign in the 1948 which included putting diamonds in movies and on famous personalities to promote the idea of diamonds to the common man. The campaign is the source of the phrase Diamonds are Forever []
  2. The only way to tell them apart is that the man-made diamonds have fewer flaws []
  3. Measures have been put in place to prevent this but loopholes are widely acknowledged []
Vote for Reader Favorites No Votes Yet
Loading ... Loading ...