Two older gentlemen come to the door and talk to me about Jesus. They are an improvement on my last Religious Zealots. I like the look of them. They have on their Sunday best, which is out of fashion, and worn at the elbows, but they look like nice, kindly fellows, and they both wear hats. I like hats. I’m cheering for a major comeback in men’s hats.
I would like to say we had a nice talk. It was pleasant, but not much of a conversation. I ask a few questions, but they do most of the talking. We are operating on their agenda, not mine, and the theme today is Satan, and how he controls politicians and governments.
I don’t believe in God or the Devil. I politely interject this into our conversation, because it seems highly relevant, but it doesn’t appear to have any effect on the prepared dialogue. A guy who starts selling you a vacuum cleaner, before he asks if you have carpets, is a bad salesman.
I nod and listen attentively until they have concluded their business. Truthfully, it feels like I keep them longer than they intended, and my questions drag them off the point, although I’m never sure what that is. Are they trying to inspire me, scare me, save me, or is this not about me? Is this for their benefit? Does our meeting accomplish something, because I’m not sure what that might be.
They leave me with reading material which elaborates on the-Devil-is-running-the-world motif of our conversation, which feels one dimensional. So, God does not run any of it? That just makes him sound lazy and apathetic.
The pamphlet also warns against astrology, fortune telling, and Ouija boards. It is not clear if it is only Ouija boards that are the work of demons, or if other Parker Brothers games, like Monopoly, are also a risk. I am understandably concerned. I’ve passed “Go” and collected $200 on more than one occasion.
I search the pamphlet for a website to do further research, but it only lists a postal box in Ontario. No website, and the copyright is dated 1992. Jesus needs an editor and a better Marketing department.
As always, I am fascinated and confused by people that come to my door to hand me religious propaganda. It seems like an entirely unproductive way to spend your time. I am probably missing the point. I really liked their hats though.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? – Epicurus
Related Post: If you liked this one read my first post about Religious Enthusiasts.


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This was FANTASTIC. I laughed out loud several times. I just love the fact that these guys have no idea who they are trying to save/convert/whatever. Talk about long shots! Brains and atheism – these guys were WAY out of their league. The best part is picturing you nodding and listening attentively. I love it. Thank you for the entertainment.
One of these older gentleman did the talking, the other stood back, interjecting once or twice, but so heartfelt and sincere. I hope, one day, to hear something inspiring, thought provoking, or insightful, said in that earnest manner. If I keep asking questions, somebody is bound to knock my socks off. That’s my theory.
The poster is right. It is unproductive for a Christian to come to someone’s door unannounced to attempt to share the good news of Jesus Christ. The poster is free to head to judgement in his current state of unredemption of course, without being harrassed by us pesky Christians.
I am right. There is no better beginning to a comment than that, thanks BillE. That is my underlying point though, that it seems unproductive to show up on someone’s door to share the good news of, well, any deity, really. Whatever the home owners world view is, it seems astonishingly unlikely that a pamphlet and a scripted lecture are going to alter it. You would get better odds in Vegas is my suspicion, so it makes me wonder if my redemption is the goal. I don’t say that to be an ass. I am really wondering. Are they there to save me? Has that ever worked?
That last sentence seems a tad mean spirited BillE, which I understand, I probably had it coming, but it is also misleading. The people that have come to my door have been very nice. I have not been harassed by anyone pesky. I, in turn, have expressed interest in their views, and been a model of courteous behavior, which, if you will pardon the jab, I’ve heard exemplifies a Good Christian.