Around nine on Halloween night ,a friend and I left my house and went to the park behind our building. Some kids were setting off fireworks and it seemed a good place for a stroll. Moments after entering the park we were approached by four young men in ski masks, which wasn’t unusual, given the date. One of them said something about wanting all of our stuff. It would be prudent here to mention that this group was in no way intimidating. Based on their size alone I would say that they were maybe fifteen or sixteen and even at my slight stature I outweighed them. We thought they were joking and told them to bugger off. The kid closest to me then threatened to mace us and pulled out a spray bottle. Still thinking this was a joke, but now suspecting it was a joke that would piss me off I told him “Kid if you spray me with that…” and then he did.
The effect of pepper spray is pronounced and immediate. By the time I got a hold of the kid with the spray bottle I realized I couldn’t see. The ensuing battle was pretty lopsided with my friend trying to put his fists into anything that would stay still, and me trying, quite literally, to choke the air out of the the kid I had a hold of. For my part I can say I was being fairly effective in that not a drop of air was getting to those young lungs, but then it all goes dark. I next remember speaking to the cops.
I ended up pretty beat up, but neither my friend or I ended up with any permanent damage, so it ended better than it could have. I looked like Rocky did at the end of the first movie for a couple of weeks.
The police made two arrests and found some witnesses. Both arrests were juveniles. I am not anticipating a great deal of satisfaction from the results.
The overwhelming reaction from people who know me upon hearing this story is anger. The thirst for some kind of justice is palpable. The trouble with the idea of justice is that it will never leave you satiated. Decisive justice is rare in life and even when administered I am not positive that it really bring much relief to those that wanted it.
I’ve learned
My sister asked what I have learned from the experience. I think she was mostly hoping I had picked up some good fight knowledge. I didn’t.
The good guy sometimes loses. The bad guy often gets away. Some things in life may never make sense, will never be fair. Take a deep breath. Let it go. You will feel better.
This is a difficult thing to do, but it’s good advise. Forgiveness is entirely optional, but acceptance is a requirement.
You reap what you sow. This is better than short term justice, this is the inevitability of cause and effect. I hold it as one of my core beliefs. When someone behaves like an asshole no giant bolt of lightening is summoned from the sky. The universe does not administer justice. The truth is more subtle and powerful. The punishment for being an asshole is simple; wherever you go, there you are.
Robert Frost has his often quoted expression about the road less travelled making all the difference. Well I think you can aptly paraphrase that and say that taking the road of bad grades and worse decisions in the company of morons tends to make all the difference too. Taking a quick look at what I know about the individuals involved in my assault will illustrate my point. Rather than attend a party or any other social event on Halloween night these four scholars clearly had planned themselves a caper. They ended up impacted by their own weapon of choice, the pepper spray, violently opposed by individuals much larger than they were, some were arrested, and the net proceeds of the act was zero dollars. I don’t think I do them a grave injustice when I suppose that these four are unlikely candidates for “Most Popular” and are probably not splitting atoms in their spare time. I think it is fair to assume that a knocked up high school girlfriend, a career requiring a uniform and a name tag, manual labour, and criminal convictions are some of the litany of treasures these master minds may have in store for them.
Certainly I have visions of getting my hands around that neck again, but it is unlikely I will get that kind of justice. I have other visions though, and I think there is more certainty in them. They are of that kid with the pepper spray years from now. He sighs and his shoulders drop as he steps behind the counter at the local fast food place and pins on his brand new “Assistant Manager” badge. He’s getting the life choked out of him, but it’s happening so much slower than I would have done it.
These are the basic fundamentals of cause and effect and they are unavoidable on a grand scale. If you are a fool you will find yourself surrounded by them. If you are spiteful and mean it is all you will experience in other people. All these little acts add up and eventually become your life. The things you cast out into the world eventually bear fruit, which is great news for some, and not so for others.
Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. – Elbert G Hubbard
Pain is certain, suffering is optional. – Buddha
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