Mugging

Nothing In Particular

March 26th, 2010

Cash exchanged for Teen

Cash, the Labrador we were babysitting, is home now. His family is back from their travels. I miss him, but Michelle doesn’t, he’s big and hairy and he drools. Their return also brought our 19 year old niece back to live with us. She has big shoes to fill, but she’s got that drooling thing mostly handled, so that’s in her favour.

Cash

Maglite

On a related note, every house should have a good flashlight as part of it’s standard equipment. A friend asked me if I carried a weapon after I was mugged. I don’t, but I definitely had it in mind when I bought this flashlight to walk the dog with. It is well designed and manufactured, and the tooled aluminum casing with three D batteries in it, makes a good truncheon. The blinding light, followed by this thing crashing into a nose, would stop a linebacker. It is definitely confidence building.

For your commute

I recommended This American Life awhile ago. Here is a couple other podcasts I like, in case you are interested.

The Moth – features stories recorded live at one of the events held by this New York based story telling organization. A new story every week, around fifteen minutes long, always good, sometimes great.

Radiolab – Big questions on science, philosophy, and the human experience are investigated. It’s an imaginative and interesting show.

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A Whisper

March 12th, 2010

I did not get caught. I did not become addicted. I did not kill a boy. Circumstance and luck are more responsible than destiny or good judgement. Less separates us than we believe. I did not kill a boy, but I might have.

Four masked individuals approached my friend and I on Halloween night in the quiet park where I usually walked my dog. Their slight stature and tone of voice gave them away as teenagers. They asked for our wallets. We thought it was a joke, and dismissed them.

One of the boys had a can of pepper spray, the big silver ones used to ward off bears. The liquid hit me and I lunged towards the kid holding it. I covered the distance in two steps and grabbed him, but by then I knew I was in trouble. Even a mist of pepper spray burns your skin and eyes. It hit me full in the face and I was already blind.

Grappling on the ground with my eyes squeezed shut, it felt like I was fighting for my life. I found that boy’s throat, put my fingers on either side of his windpipe, and squeezed as hard as I could.

I don’t know what happened next. I received many blows to the head that evening, and I believe the first one happened in that moment. I heard the sounds of him struggling in vain for air, and then my memories end, everything goes black.

At the time, there was no contemplation in what I did. Choking him was a conclusion reached like stepping stones across a small stretch of water, spaced apart so you have to take them in a series of running leaps, each one the inevitable continuation of a movement already started. Place the stones differently and I would have made those leaps instead. Change one thing and I would have ended in a different place.

The friend I was with that night is a solid Scottish fellow. If I was to fight him, I would receive a whooping. So, when I realized I was in trouble, I didn’t worry about him, he could handle himself.

My wife was out of town, but normally I would have been in the park with her that night. I would have been with my petite wife, and not my brawny friend. I had my fingers buried in the vitality of that boy, a spot full of air and blood. If I had heard my love calling out to me in that moment, even just a whisper, instead of taking the time to choke him into unconsciousness, I might have made different leaps. I might have ripped that boy’s throat out.

Empathy is the recognition of your humanity in another. I now better understand how little separates me from the criminal, the addict, the killer. I have let go of the notion that I am me, and you are you, and the gap between us is inevitable. Less separates us than we believe. The difference is often as small as a whisper.

I’ve already written about this, but am revisiting it for a few reasons:

  1. I entered another speech competition and this makes for great dramatic subject matter.
  2. I was talking with a Vice Principal friend of mine about speeches to high school students and this is part of a longer term project to develop something. I’m thinking I can use this one event to talk about empathy, choices, and character. I thought it would be a good challenge.
  3. The real inspiration for writing this came while listening to an episode of This American Life (Devil On My Shoulder) in which a man describes the murder he was convicted of, not as a series of decisions that resulted in an action, but more as an event he got swept up into. It sounded familiar to me, and the man’s story affected me.
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Redemption

October 23rd, 2008

I was walking with a friend of mine in the quiet little park behind my house when we were attacked by a group of kids. My friend managed to escape. I was pepper sprayed, beaten senseless, and robbed. It has been a year now and a couple chipped teeth are all that remains of the physical damage, but an episode like that lingers with you. I have been turning those thoughts over and over. The rough edges have been worn away and they are now familiar enough to write about. Here they are then, those smooth little pebbles. (more…)

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Victim Statement

June 20th, 2008

The two individuals that were caught in connection to my assault have plead guilty. Prior to their sentencing a report is prepared and given to the court which provides some background on the individuals, the crime, and presents some recommendations. I have the opportunity to provide input into that report.

I did so via what they call a Victim Impact Statement. Which is a fancy way of saying a letter in which I state the obvious fact that getting beat up really sucks. I have to say that I did find it strangely fulfilling to turn the letter in. In large part, I would guess, that is because I am capable of writing a decent letter, and also that I’m mildly creative.

The letter details the physical, financial, and emotional impact of the crime and it pleases me to say that, after reading the letter, you would have every reason to believe that I am unable to get out of bed in the morning. It’s like a Dickens novel. I painted a picture of such fear, woe and dread that it really amuses me to think of it being read during the sentencing procedure.

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Brain Injury

November 15th, 2007

I opened up the mail today to find a letter from the hospital I was at on halloween night. The opening sentence of the letter stated: “You were recently treated for your injury in which you sustained a concussion.“. The letter went on to offer assistance in my recovery and the envelope included a pamphlet entitled Facts about concussion and brain injury. The letter was an interesting surprise, mostly because I had no idea I had sustained a concussion.

Write stuff down for people with brain injuries. That should be the title of a class in med school don’t you think. They could have a discussion about how communicating verbally with the guy that has two eyes swollen shut and blood coming out of his ear is not recommended. I might make the mistake of presuming that general medical knowledge would allow you to suss out that fact, but I could be forgiven my error in judgment I suppose because, as it turns out, I have a brain injury. The letter in the mail notifying me of potentially serious danger signs to watch out for fifteen days after my hospital visit is a nice touch though. Had I suffered a stroke brought on by a blood clot it probably would have been a real comfort to know someone cared. It’s sweet really.

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Trick Or Punch

November 7th, 2007

Around nine on Halloween night ,a friend and I left my house and went to the park behind our building. Some kids were setting off fireworks and it seemed a good place for a stroll. Moments after entering the park we were approached by four young men in ski masks, which wasn’t unusual, given the date. One of them said something about wanting all of our stuff. It would be prudent here to mention that this group was in no way intimidating. Based on their size alone I would say that they were maybe fifteen or sixteen and even at my slight stature I outweighed them. We thought they were joking and told them to bugger off. The kid closest to me then threatened to mace us and pulled out a spray bottle. Still thinking this was a joke, but now suspecting it was a joke that would piss me off I told him “Kid if you spray me with that…” and then he did.

The effect of pepper spray is pronounced and immediate. By the time I got a hold of the kid with the spray bottle I realized I couldn’t see. The ensuing battle was pretty lopsided with my friend trying to put his fists into anything that would stay still, and me trying, quite literally, to choke the air out of the the kid I had a hold of. For my part I can say I was being fairly effective in that not a drop of air was getting to those young lungs, but then it all goes dark. I next remember speaking to the cops.

I ended up pretty beat up, but neither my friend or I ended up with any permanent damage, so it ended better than it could have.  I looked like Rocky did at the end of the first movie for a couple of weeks.

The police made two arrests and found some witnesses. Both arrests were juveniles. I am not anticipating a great deal of satisfaction from the results.

The overwhelming reaction from people who know me upon hearing this story is anger. The thirst for some kind of justice is palpable. The trouble with the idea of justice is that it will never leave you satiated. Decisive justice is rare in life and even when administered I am not positive that it really bring much relief to those that wanted it.

I’ve learned

My sister asked what I have learned from the experience. I think she was mostly hoping I had picked up some good fight knowledge. I didn’t.

The good guy sometimes loses. The bad guy often gets away. Some things in life may never make sense, will never be fair. Take a deep breath. Let it go. You will feel better.

This is a difficult thing to do, but it’s good advise. Forgiveness is entirely optional, but acceptance is a requirement.

You reap what you sow. This is better than short term justice, this is the inevitability of cause and effect. I hold it as one of my core beliefs. When someone behaves like an asshole no giant bolt of lightening is summoned from the sky. The universe does not administer justice. The truth is more subtle and powerful. The punishment for being an asshole is simple; wherever you go, there you are.

Robert Frost has his often quoted expression about the road less travelled making all the difference. Well I think you can aptly paraphrase that and say that taking the road of bad grades and worse decisions in the company of morons tends to make all the difference too. Taking a quick look at what I know about the individuals involved in my assault will illustrate my point. Rather than attend a party or any other social event on Halloween night these four scholars clearly had planned themselves a caper. They ended up impacted by their own weapon of choice, the pepper spray, violently opposed by individuals much larger than they were, some were arrested, and the net proceeds of the act was zero dollars. I don’t think I do them a grave injustice when I suppose that these four are unlikely candidates for “Most Popular” and are probably not splitting atoms in their spare time. I think it is fair to assume that a knocked up high school girlfriend, a career requiring a uniform and a name tag, manual labour, and criminal convictions are some of the litany of treasures these master minds may have in store for them.

Certainly I have visions of getting my hands around that neck again, but it is unlikely I will get that kind of justice. I have other visions though, and I think there is more certainty in them. They are of that kid with the pepper spray years from now. He sighs and his shoulders drop as he steps behind the counter at the local fast food place and pins on his brand new “Assistant Manager” badge. He’s getting the life choked out of him, but it’s happening so much slower than I would have done it.

These are the basic fundamentals of cause and effect and they are unavoidable on a grand scale. If you are a fool you will find yourself surrounded by them. If you are spiteful and mean it is all you will experience in other people. All these little acts add up and eventually become your life. The things you cast out into the world eventually bear fruit, which is great news for some, and not so for others.

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. – Elbert G Hubbard

Pain is certain, suffering is optional. – Buddha

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