My Mind's Ink

Two older gentlemen come to the door and talk to me about Jesus. They are an improvement on my last Religious Zealots. I like the look of them. They have on their Sunday best, which is out of fashion, and worn at the elbows, but they look like nice, kindly fellows, and they both wear hats. I like hats. I’m cheering for a major comeback in men’s hats.

I would like to say we had a nice talk. It was pleasant, but not much of a conversation. I ask a few questions, but they do most of the talking. We are operating on their agenda, not mine, and the theme today is Satan, and how he controls politicians and governments.

I don’t believe in God or the Devil. I politely interject this into our conversation, because it seems highly relevant, but it doesn’t appear to have any effect on the prepared dialogue. A guy who starts selling you a vacuum cleaner, before he asks if you have carpets, is a bad salesman.

I nod and listen attentively until they have concluded their business. Truthfully, it feels like I keep them longer than they intended, and my questions drag them off the point, although I’m never sure what that is. Are they trying to inspire me, scare me, save me, or is this not about me? Is this for their benefit? Does our meeting accomplish something, because I’m not sure what that might be.

They leave me with reading material which elaborates on the-Devil-is-running-the-world motif of our conversation, which feels one dimensional. So, God does not run any of it? That just makes him sound lazy and apathetic.

The pamphlet also warns against astrology, fortune telling, and Ouija boards. It is not clear if it is only Ouija boards that are the work of demons, or if other Parker Brothers games, like Monopoly, are also a risk. I am understandably concerned. I’ve passed “Go” and collected $200 on more than one occasion.

I search the pamphlet for a website to do further research, but it only lists a postal box in Ontario. No website, and the copyright is dated 1992. Jesus needs an editor and a better Marketing department.

As always, I am fascinated and confused by people that come to my door to hand me religious propaganda. It seems like an entirely unproductive way to spend your time. I am probably missing the point. I really liked their hats though.

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? – Epicurus

Related Post: If you liked this one read my first post about Religious Enthusiasts.

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God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion. – Homer Simpson

I have a certain appreciation for strangers that knock on my door to talk about religion. I do not believe what they do, but their motivation appears to be genuine. I imagine that they predominantly receive anger and indifference as a result of their efforts. Persistence to do what you believe under those conditions is admirable in its own fashion.

Many have quarreled about religion that never practiced it. – Benjamin Franklin

I am less impressed with their sales pitch. I usually have a few minutes to spare and am willing to have a spontaneous debate, but no one ever asks. The Jehovah’s Witnesses that knocked on my door today invited me to an upcoming meeting and handed me a pamphlet. I smiled, thanked them, and waited for an opportunity to talk to them about whatever outlandish notions govern their lives, but, they had concluded their business, and walked away.

Today’s wandering religious zealots are a shadow of their former selves. I am profoundly disappointed. Left standing in my doorway I am tempted to chase the ladies down and ask them, “Is that your best game? That shit was weak. How are you going to convert anyone like that?” Instead I just recycle the pamphlet and pray for a higher class of fanatic.

Related Post: Read about the next time wandering Religious folks stopped at my door.

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