Writing

I May Be Wrong

September 4th, 2009

Krusty the Clown shruggingWe should get a manual for life, don’t you think?1 I’m making it up as I go, and I’m getting some wrong.

My sister and I upset each other over a discussion about television. I mentioned that I would like to eliminate TV, which inspired her to write an opinion about why that is unnecessary. She made some good points, but was uncharacteristically harsh, so my response was also barbed. We knew we had been mean spirited, had a nice discussion over the phone, and cleared it all up, the end.

That silly argument with my sister made me think, however, that I need a disclaimer. I post things here that I enjoy writing. I am (usually) not going out of my way to piss you off, but it is bound to happen from time to time. It is difficult to make an argument without putting too sharp a point on it.

Many people I don’t know now read this site, and inevitably I will disagree with some of them. It happened recently, and I did not handled it appropriately, so I thought it would be more productive to make things clear. I welcome a difference of opinion, and if you would like to express one, please do, but lets be civil about it. No name calling, no YELLING!!!, and take the time to string together sentences that make sense. I will do the same.

Should all of that fail, and something I have written upsets you, keep in mind, I don’t know what the hell I am doing, I may be wrong, I am often an asshole, and I’m sorry on all counts. These are only my opinions, and they have no more validity than yours. No hard feelings.

Footnotes

  1. I could rewrite this line as the lead in for a religious recruiting video called ‘The Book’ []
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Heckler

July 29th, 2009

bill murray you suckI lost my innocence last week. A person I don’t know went out of their way to tell me I sucked. I got my first heckler.

It was inevitable, there is one in very crowd, and the internet is certainly that. The guy who’s soul contribution is, “You suck.”

My heckler commented on this article, in which I tell the story of how our first IVF Egg Retrieval went wrong because of a mistake I made, and what a terrible experience that was. In four poorly written sentences he claims that it is the time I spend writing this website which is the root cause of my error.  Then, in conclusion, he calls me a girl for crying.

I began to explain the weakness of his argument, and I wrote some mean spirited quips picking on his poor grammar and excessive use of ALL CAPS and exclamation points, but I deleted it all. I decided to take the high ground. Then, I realized there is no fun in that for me, so I wrote my own four sentences.

The reason you think real men do not cry is because your father was emotionally detached. He didn’t want you, so he never said, “I love you.” Your feelings of inadequacy, and general tendency towards behaving like an ass, may stem from that, as any decent therapist can explain to you. Now run along, the grown ups are talking.

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Moleskine

July 27th, 2009

americanpsycho1I began to write in the cheapest notebooks I could find. Coil bound things I bought for about two dollars. The contents evolved into something that was worth more than two bucks to me. This began my search for an alternative that has resulted in a virgin sacrifice.

The section for writing journals in any store is dominated by ridiculously patterned notebooks with pictures of puppies or hearts on them. My scribbles have small ambitions, but writing them in a book more suited to the poetry of a twelve year old girl seemed like an inglorious beginning. Then I picked up a Moleskine notebook and had an American Psycho moment. It has lovely ivory colored paper that feels silky. I am tactile obsessed, which triumphed over the ridiculous price tag of the thing.

moleskineEach book comes with an insert that tells the history of the “legendary notebook used for the past two centuries by great artists and thinkers, including Vincent Van Gogh, Pablo Picasso, Ernest Hemingway, and Bruce Chatwin.” I understand the marketing slant, but for fuck sakes. Great literature has also been created using ink jet printers, but I don’t think they share the credit.

The notebooks are nice, but pretentious, so my decision to disembowel one felt satisfying. The guy at the local print shop didn’t understand at first. “I want you to put it in one of your machines and lop the binding off.”

I angle the page dramatically when I write, so the cover of a book hits me in the stomach. Cutting the pages out and creating a notepad with them is a practical solution, but I also like the idea of it. It feels wickedly decadent, like ripping the spine out of a unicorn. Maybe it will even help. Much of the interesting magic in the world calls for the blood of a virgin.

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